I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
