WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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