I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
