we're blogging at a bar
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
