worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
