Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
