Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
