how can u be prego again
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
