So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
this is an emotional support booty call
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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