Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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