No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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