I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Drake has all the answers
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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