every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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