I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize