Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i believe in u and ur pee
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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