i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
