Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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