dude i'm inner monologue high
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
