Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
