Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize