he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
