youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
