well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
