i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
