I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
