Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
