There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize