Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
