Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
