If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
