Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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