One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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