Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
