i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
