i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
