Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
