the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
