Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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