Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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