Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.

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(650): View more from California

I love my bros weed

(650): View more from California

Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though

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(937): View more from Ohio

I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...

(1-937): View more from Ohio

I see you've learned your lesson.

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(512): View more from Texas

Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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(571): View more from Virginia

What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

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(+79): View more from

Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight

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(817): View more from Texas

My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.

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(727): View more from Florida

His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.

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