kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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