Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
