Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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