Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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