Me too!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
