And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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