Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
