Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
