I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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