Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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