like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There are leaves in my underwear?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
