Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
