so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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