Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
