Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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