i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Welp...herpes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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