I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
