'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
