I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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